Aaaaand no Monday Hues for me today! Honestly, nothing much has changed so I thought I’d voice this thoughts that have been running in my head. Lately I’ve been thinking about my mental health and the one of the people around me. It occurred to me that, at times, I hear or say things to others and I realize that those are ” things I wish someone told me in that moment or when I was at that stage”. So I thought I would say just a couple of things to you, things that might be obvious but that, maybe, some of you need to read, things I might need to read in the future too.
You don’t need a reason to get away from a toxic person/ situation
You don’t owe anything to anybody but yourself. It’s OK to get away from a family member, a friend, a lover, your colleague etc. because they harm your mental health and/or your safe space. It’s OK to leave the nest, the house you share, your job, the place, the chat. It’s OK to block, it’s OK to ignore. It’s OK to cater your online experience, your work experience, your social experience to your needs. it’s OK to affront and not accept any further argument on it. It’s OK to notify and end it, with or without read/hear any further comments or pleads. Hell, it’s even Ok not to notify! ( If you are physically leaving home, tho, please tell it to someone, we wouldn’t want you to end up in the missing person files of your local police).
The other day I read something pretty poignant: ” Violence, bullyism or harassment are never defined by the perpetrator’s feelings or motive, only from the receiver’s perception of the act itself” Amd I feel like this is not stressed enough. You don’t need a specific outburst or a bad moment to say it’s enough, to start loving yourself.
At the same time, sometimes you even need to get some non toxic people away from you just because at that Moment in your life they are not good for you and It’s OK too! Remember you have a debt to yourself and yourself only. Not even to your parents. They were sentient grown up when they made the long term choice to have a kid and raise them up! It’s their choice, you don’t owe them anything for it, you didn’t ask for any of it. So as Sebastian would say ” shala lala lala blooock ’em.”
Peer pressure suck.
You can not go, you can not become a friend with someone, you can not engage with someone that you feel would bring only negative things and vibes into your life, you can not go to a party, not help a friend, not exchange shift, not take on more shifts, more duties, more responsabilities if you feel that they would be too overwhelming for you! Regarding bookstagram It’s ok to say no to arcs that you think you wouldn’t love, to say no to blog tours and opportunities because It’ll be a problem for you, It’s ok! You are not missing anything, you are catering your time and your platform to only portray things that you are 100% into and things that you will put your full talent in!
You are glorious!
You are intelligent sensitive, talented and you are beautiful! You are fat, thin, abled, disabled, intense, easy, you are magnificent! You are a lush set of curves, you are jawline and chiseled features, you are sharp intellect and homey warmth. Whatever you are, however you are, you are perfect. You are valid. You deserve love and to be loved but you can’t pour water from an empty jar! You need to learn to love yourself! It sound so stupid, but you live here and you live now. This is your body, those are your features, that’s your personality, your attitude, your voice, the way you move or act! That’s the life you have, no second chances, no re-dos! If you don’t love yourself now then… when? Buy those jeans now, not for when you’ll be a different size, use those stickers today, find the joy in the second you are living, flirt and date yourself, look at that person in the mirror and fall in love! No one can take you away that, no one will be more faithful than your self, no one will cherish you just as wholeheartedly as you can, you deserve that type of love, you deserve to love yourself and all the rest will come too.
Don’t compare the size of your problems to the one of others
A while ago someone told me ” you keep saying you have it good comparing to other people, that you are functional and you shouldn’t complain, but you have it bad. If it influence even one single of your actions, you have it bed enough to be allowed to complain”.
Remember, your experience it’s yours. Your trauma, your mental health setbacks and achievements are yours, and if for you they are big then big they are! You are not playing on it, you are not weighing on it, it’s your life, and your perceptions are valid. No one should ever be allowed to play it down or tell you ” It’s all in your head ” or ” people with this or that are like this and that and you are not ” or ” yeah ok but people have it worse”. not even you! Because to say so it’s to be so wrong I can’t even wrap my head around it! So stop doing it to yourself! Stop people from doing it to you! Fight for your own happiness, fight for your own stability, for your right to get better and give yourself time to heal and learn new coping mechanism. and everything will be alright.
And… that’s it, at least for today! four random things, becayse… well, because my mind was going there! I hope they were helpful to someone, I know that writing this has been helpful to me! Let me know in the comments, if you want, if you have any more thoughts to give others!
Kisses as big as my bum x