Monday Hues on a Sunday… oh well! I have jumped this format for the past couple of weeks, I had plenty to say but the idea of sitting down and have a chat felt unbearably personal. Weird, right? Especially because other than a day spent romancing myself, some good news, some travel plans, and a quick museum trip nothing else has happened in my life.
But my life is also this, my life is moments in which I feel I’m extremely insignificant, where I wonder what the hell I’m doing and why gave me the right to even try and put some shitty words together. Seriously, Jess, who will ever read you and why? Which is ok. It’s ok to sit back and decide not to share yourself with the world. It doesn’t matter how small or big your presence is, how many numbers compose your following counts of how many comments or reads you get, bearing your soul – in any way- sometimes it’s just too much and it’s ok. Other times, like today I wake up and can’t wait to write. I feel the itch, my fingers covet a keyboard or a pen and even if I have virtually nothing to write about I just want to get in contact with you guys. How are you? Have you been well? Have you enjoyed your life lately? Have you been content? In days like today, I get myself out of the house – or try to and just write for the sake of it. Welcome to this post! There is no pulp! It’s just random chats and that’s ok! The world is pretty shitty on its own without adding some philosophical meaning to it all and today… today it’s a good day and I want to write about it, to share a tiny shard of a good day with you.
Today I feel inspired. Not much, not enough to write my book or to create amazing photos – or try to- but enough to have a chat, to reach out and to take it as it is.
Sometimes I put too much pressure on this blog, cater every post in a certain way, ask them to have meaning, to hit on a somewhat popular or meaningful nail, to have content in some way. I try to keep it casual: I don’t crucify myself anymore about typos and stuff but, still, I forget that this is my space and It’s ok for me to just write. I don’t need a perfect photo timed with the blog post publishing time, I don’t always need to wait for a perfect moment, I can just drop here what I feel because this is mine. When I remember it I feel so empowered and free and I just feel like coming here and just chat about nothing. So here I am, doing exactly this, and it feels bloody brilliant!
I want to keep on doing it, to free my thoughts from the Monday schedule and to just… let it be, so today they will be Sunday Hues, next time… who knows?
Anyway, since we are talking I want to tell you a bit more. I’m buzzing with energy, I’m a week away from my birthday holiday and I can’t wait! I’m going to try and vlog the entire experience and I really hope to be able to have a go at youtube and see how that goes, if it’s worth the energy and so on. I like the idea of being able to add video ranting about books to the usual review format on the blog and who knows? Maybe it will make me feel all-around more inspired! My equipment is what it is but… oh well!
I’m excited to see mother again too, Sometimes I feel like If I was to put Mother as the center of TCH my account would boom. Alas, I don’t live near Mother so I will get what I can. Lately, I’ve been painfully aware of the little time we actually have with our parents and how human they actually are and it fills me with a need of being closer to those I care about even just for a little holiday.
I’ve been reading again, not what I should and want to read but when did I ever do what I should? The In Death series is still keeping me company but I ‘m actually just procrastinating on the idea of sending an email of a certain publisher about a certain book. Fear of rejection is a bad beast, but you loose every chance you don’t take, right? I will do it, next week probably…
What I loved lately? I loved starting to cook again, my flour and orange chicken, making my coffee in the morning and adding a bit of cinnamon in it. I loved saying fuck it and booking the holiday I wanted how I wanted it, I loved impulsively auto inviting myself to a friend’s outing just so I could pet a cat in a pub ( and meet my friends) and decide to do something different so I could still spend a somewhat form of my birthday with them. I loved staying in touch, taking opportunities, cultivating irl friendships and online ones. long night talks at the phone and taking chances! Following your guts and being sassily as savage as I can be. I loved feeling me a tad bit more that I’ve been lately, being able to clean up and breathe at full breaths, to say No when I needed it, and to not feel guilty for taking time for myself. I loved loving myself a bit more and orange. Orange is always a good color, especially in autumn.
Have a lovely day guys, spread the love, ok?
If you have time, could you leave me here some blogs for me to check as
I am now officially on Bloglovin’!